¶
Then began her life.
I'm still awestruck by the gravity of it. A single miniscule thread just latching onto the interplanar web of existence. It's awesome. Like
a hundred billion hotdogs.I read this book recently:
Paganism: An Introduction to Earth-Based Religions, by Joyce and River Higgenbotham. Yes, it's a wordy title, and the dual authoring doesn't help, but it's very well-written. It's not your typical "Hippie" book, by some whack in a tent covered in moss, writing with her own menstrual excretions. And it's not your typical "Pagan" book, by some fuckwitted incense-enthusiast who uses a penname that follows the Mad-Lib-esque "Adjective Spooky-NounSpooky-Noun" formula.
I recommend it.
In this book, the authors posit a theory regarding the fabric of space-time. They suggest that reality itself is constantly in a state of unfolding and enfolding. This happens too fast for us [or indeed, the laws of physics] to recognize. They relate it to the image on a television screen. Every time the universe re-opens, [presumably] everything is just minutely different. Occasionally, something brand new appears.
I got to witness that. I saw the very last time that the universe was
sans Lillia. And I saw the very first moment that she was included. And it was
full of stars.
¶
Hopefully, that's as sappy as I'll get.
Now, here's all the stuff that I'm
expected to know:
▫ She was born at 1038 hours, on August 17, Twenty Aught-Nine. She was one week and three days late.
▫ She weighed
seven pounds, fifteen ounces, and was
twenty-one inches long.▫ Her name is Lillia Raine. She wasn't named after anyone, we just liked it.
Here's all the stuff that I think is more important:
▫ She was not induced, there was no epidural administered. There were no painkillers given, before or after. My wife hardly whimpered during the whole thing. She is a fucking superhero, and I'm honored she chose me.
▫ The first song she ever heard was
Bankrobber, by The Clash. It was performed by me at around 0300, the morning after she was born, in the hospital room. It put her right to sleep.
▫ I changed her first diaper.
▫ She has Courtney's eyes, ears, cheeks, and mouth. She seems to have my nose, and possibly my chin, the poor girl; my chin has a goatee on it. Hopefully, it turns out she's got someone else's.
¶
I'm also out of the Air Force. This happened some time ago, and is massively less important to me than the birth of my daughter. I officially separated on 4 July (Independence Day, lulz) and did not get high. I have not gotten high yet, despite all my oaths to the contrary, and it looks like I won't be. It's not as appealing as I thought it would be. Anyway, fuck the Air Force, and fuck the military. If you, or anyone you know is considering it, stop. It's just fucking retarded. Dumbest God-damned thing I ever did.
¶
I'm waiting to start my new job, and I'm not terribly thrilled about it. Hopefully I win the lottery or something, because I'm completely sick of having to be concerned with money. In that vein, someone explain to $
spyed that Seniors need not be bombarded with advertisements, no matter what our subscription status. How fucking rude.
¶
Once the new job is going, and cash-flow is restored, I'll be taking care of some things, among which is the purchasing of a new computer. It will very likely be a lousy one, and probably a laptop, which implies prebuilt. That notwithstanding, it should make my presence on deviantART a lot more regular. Maybe then I'll finish my novel. And I'll get back to the forums. Poor things are probably rotting by now.
Right. I likely ought to start considering sleep. It's in high demand these days.
-Nathaniel
Welcome to twenty-ten. Enough of those aughts, it's time to get into the meat of this century.
Speaking of meat.
While I fully recognize and accept that I will not hear the end of it, I'm voluntarily excluding my favorite food group from my diet for the next 365 days. There are some exclusions, but mostly, I'm going vegetarian for a year. I promise I'm not turning my back on the real world; I'm not going to eat anything made of soy or tofu, and especially not if it's "meat flavored." No grass burgers, no tofurkey, no fakin' bacon. Fuck all that noise, it's still retarded; if you eat that shit, you're still my enemy. I'm just planning to include a lot more foods than I usually do. I "don't like" a lot of foods, and a lot of that is left over from my youth. My six-year-old palette didn't like much, and I feel like it's been quite long enough. So, along with my new diet, I'm not allowed to say "ew" until March. Courtney's the health expert around here, and if she says I should eat something, I'm going to.
Not much fast food, less junk food, no fried food. No sugar, no soda, no beer, no tea or coffee. I'll probably start working out, though I hate the idea.
It should be fun.
I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm moving us out of here sometime this year. I've been living with my in-laws, in Courtney's old bedroom, since I got back from Qatar. That was the end of May. When Lilly was born, she brought with her all her own furniture, equipment, and toys; that's all in the same bedroom. We're all going insane here, and we have to leave. Have to. Period.
For that reason, I don't think school is going to happen. The money I'd get from going to school would pay the bills I have now, but it would not cover anything else. I need to consider a rent payment, electricity, gas, water, phone, cable. I need to get life insurance. I need to open a college fund for my daughter. I can't do that on 1000 bucks a month. I need something more like 3500.
It's another standard military trick: give you this line about something that sounds amazing, only to come to the realization that it's not anywhere near as good as you thought it would be.
Fuck.
So anyway, that's it, I think. New diet, new job (hopefully), new place. Be better as a father and a husband than I have been.
Happy new year.