Hi. My name is Nate, and I used to have a computer. I have 01100111011001010110010101101011 tattood around my wrist, dice on my arm, and I have 3000 Geek points at thinkgeek.com. And my computer is broken.

Not long after I built my computer (really built it - not used my parents' ) I joined deviantART.

- as you might have noticed -

But now I'm never here. Like, ever. I get on this shit at the fuckin LieBerry, and it works, except for dAmn, and I look at some deviations, but not the ones with nudity, or mature language, because the military server won't allow it, and then I piss off and go home.

I go home to my fantastic girlfriend of over a year now. The one that accompanies me to the fuckin LieBerry, who sews, and has long hair that gets in my face when we go to sleep at night. We watch remnants of my old computer on hers: a couple of Eddie Izzard specials and a Lewis Black that don't need codecs, because her computer lacks most of them, and we don't have internet anymore.

The library closes in seven minutes. That means I have to submit this in five.

See how awesome life can be?

By the way, go watch Juno.

Fuck you.

Go watch it.


PS: Will, if you don't call me back, I'm going to steal all your melanin and steal it to the first Asian I see.